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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26978143">from the library of troy barnes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/damntrobed/pseuds/damntrobed'>damntrobed</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Community (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Idek what else to tag this tbh, M/M, love story through playlists</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:48:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,012</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26978143</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/damntrobed/pseuds/damntrobed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>troy really likes music, because it does a better job at saying things than he ever could.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>from the library of troy barnes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i want to thank the tumblr user for the hc that inspired this, and i also want to thank the server for saying they would read this bc otherwise it would not have been written.<br/>ps jules the taylor swift song was for you (i didn't want to put one but i had to for you)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><b>[1] Playlist:</b> when i get that pit in my stomach but i don’t know why</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Seigfried - Frank Ocean - Blonde</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Song to the Moon - Antonin Dvorak, performed by Renee Fleming</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>You and Me - Shallou - Souls</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Missing You - xander. - Cabin Fever</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Stuck - Day Wave - Hard To Read</em></p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>Description:</em> </span> <em> lately whenever abed’s been hanging out with other people, it makes me feel sick to my stomach. actually, just other guys. even jeff. something about it just makes me want to curl up and cry because it makes my stomach hurt, and i could have eaten an entire pizza and feel so empty. like why does abed want to hang out with somebody else? did i hurt his feelings? is he mad at me? does he not want to be friends anymore but he's too nice to tell me because he knows how pathetic i am? is he just being my friend because he feels bad? i don't get mad when annie or britta hang out with other people, it only happens with him. is it normal to feel that way about your best friend? why is this happening to me?</em></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">Pick a lyric to sum up this playlist: "Wish that I could say more", You and Me</p><p class="p3"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><b>[2] Playlist:</b> not sure what to call this feeling. but it’s this.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Lovefool - No Vacation - Amo XO</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song:</em> </b> <em> Happy &amp; Sad - Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Nervous - Gavin James - Live at Whelans</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>From the Dining Table - Harry Styles - Harry Styles</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Lost on You - Lewis Capaldi - Divinely Uninspired To A Hellish Extent</em></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>Description:</em> </span> <em> that sinking pit feeling hasn’t gone away. in fact it’s worse. and i don’t know how to fix it. and i think it’s this one thing, but i don’t know what to do if it IS that one thing. (it wouldn’t be so bad though, if it was.) i'm so tired, and when people ask me what's wrong i don't have any words for it. i just shrug my shoulders and shake my head. but these songs get it. they know how i'm feeling. it's like they've all been there before, even if i don't really know where "there" is.</em></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">Pick a lyric to sum up this playlist: "These thoughts I can't articulate / Got me feeling some type of way", Lovefool</p><p class="p3"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><b>[3] Playlist:</b> focusfocusfocusfocusfocusfocusfocus</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Numb - Comodo - 3 Am. Study Session</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Serenity - Kupla - Kingdom in Blue</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>At Ease - S N U G - Moonglow</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Starside Groove - Mondo Loops - Terrapin</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Recess - Flovry, tender spring - Ages Ago</em></p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>Description:</em> </span> <em> no words for these songs because words are distracting and a lot of these kind of sound the same?? but that’s okay because i have to get this homework done otherwise it’ll be turned in late and i need to leave here by 5 because i promised somebody i would do something but i can’t remember who or what and i made that promise like a week ago so i hope i didn’t miss it. but if i sit down and do this it should only take me like 45 minutes, or that’s what annie told me, and she’s usually right, so i just need to sit down and do the work and it will all get done and then i can do what i need to do for the rest of the day! i also have to go eat dinner at some point but i can’t do that until i finish this work and i know that abed wants to go get buttered noodles so i just need to focus and get this work done because it’s only one chapter and it shouldn’t take that long. i should have done it a week ago when they first assigned it but i couldn’t because abed and i got the new kick puncher movie and we wanted to watch the entire series in a row with the new movie included, and that took like three days because we still had to go to class and stuff and then i kind of forgot i had it but then abed reminded me about it yesterday but i forgot about it again until just now when annie reminded me that it was due at 11:00PM and that if i can sit down and work through it it will be super easy but the janitor is here and she’s super nice but the vacuum is SO LOUD so i needed some music to drown it out and i didn’t already have a playlist of just-music music so i listened to a bunch and picked some of my favorites and now i have a playlist so i can finally start my homework! i just have to focus. </em></p><p class="p3"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><b>[4] Playlist:</b> one day i’ll be able to say it</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song:</em> </b> <em> Loving is Easy - Rex Orange County ft. Benny Sings (Single)</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>You and Me - Niall Horan - Flicker</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>for him. - Troy Sivan ft. Allday - Blue Neighbourhood</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song:</em> </b> <em> Free Spirit - Khalid - Free Spirit</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>I Wish U Love - King Green (Single)</em></p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>Description:</em> </span> <em> a short poem - i promise that it's true / i've never felt it more / but for now my own words won't do / just know it's you i care for. also why are all love songs about a guy and a girl? i think that's really dumb.</em></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">Pick a lyric to sum up this playlist: "Even if this is the end of our days / I'm wishing you love and I'm giving you praise", I Wish U Love</p><p class="p2"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><b>[5] Playlist:</b> i never should have left and i’m sorry</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Dancing With Your Ghost - Sasha Sloan (Single)</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Working For You - Jake Scott (Single)</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Oceans Away -A R I Z O N A (Single)</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>I Was Just Thinking - Teitur - Poetry and Airplanes</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>lonely again - gnash (Single)</em></p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>Description:</em> </span> <em> i’m here in the middle of the ocean and i don’t know what to say. i’m so sorry. but this is something i had to do and i hope you understand. i’m sorry that i had to break your heart in front of everyone and you couldn’t say anything or do anything. i’m sorry that i didn’t talk to you about it first, and i’m sorry that this is how it had to be. i hope you know i regret it. and i hope you know that i’m going to wait for you. i hope you’ll wait for me, too. i’m counting down the days until i’m back to you. i’m sorry.</em></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">Pick a lyric to sum up this playlist: "But I lost control, and I hate the way / I can't stop it once it begins", Working For You</p><p class="p2"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><b>[6] Playlist:</b> i feel full on emptiness.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song:</em> </b> <em> Feels - Watts (Single)</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song:</em> </b> <em> Too Fast - Sonder - Into</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Let Go - Beau Young Prince - Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song:</em> </b> <em> I Guess I Just Feel Like - John Mayer (Single)</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>I Don’t Think I’m Okay - Bazzi (Single)</em></p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>Description:</em> </span> <em> i don’t feel anything anymore. i’m six months away from finishing this. but i don’t think i’m even a person anymore, much less a man. if anything, i’m a shell of who i was. a shell of the person who left the love of their life. my only purpose was him. how was this supposed to help? why did i feel like i needed this when i could have just stayed with him? did i think i was somehow better because i got this opportunity? that i was better than love? i just want to know how he is. i just want to know he's okay. because i'm not. not without him.</em></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">Pick a lyric to sum up this playlist: "I guess I just felt like / Giving up today", I Guess I Just Feel Like</p><p class="p2"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><b>[7] Playlist:</b> i needed (and still need) you</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>IDK You Yet - Alexander 23 (Single)</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>It’s Nice To Have A Friend - Taylor Swift - Lover</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>I Don’t Know How to Tell You This - Faith Ling (Single)</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>We Stayed Up All Night - Tourist, Ardyn (Single)</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Somewhere Out There - James Ingram, Linda Rondstadt</em></p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>Description:</em> </span> <em> you were (and are) the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i wish i had known sooner, because maybe then i wouldn’t have been looking for so long. we took a big step back, in everything, when i left. but i’ll never need anyone as much as i need you. i hope we can get back to where we were, the sooner the better. you're the only one i need. i promise you. i put our song in there because it reminds me of before. but for now, i'm okay with this. with just being friends. however long it takes.</em></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">Pick a lyric to sum up this playlist: "Something gave you the nerve / To touch my hand / It's nice to have a friend / It's nice to have a friend", It's Nice To Have A Friend</p><p class="p2"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><b>[8] Playlist:</b> let’s slow dance in the refrigerator light</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>The Way You Look Tonight - Frank Sinatra</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>(I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons - Sam Cooke</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>we’ll be fine (Acoustic) - Luz (Single)</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Put Your Head on My Shoulder - Paul Anka</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>La Vie En Rose - Louis Armstrong</em></p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>Description:</em> </span> <em> i love to slow dance. (i love to guide abed around the dim kitchen, and show him where to put his hands, and where to step. sometimes we just sway in place and he’ll put a kiss on the top of my head. sometimes i dip him over my knee and give him a long kiss. i love the way the volume is barely up, and i love that abed only likes to do it on rainy nights so we can hear the rain drops hit the window sill. i love that we really do open the fridge for the little light, and the only other source is the moon through the window, or the tv on mute in the living room. i love that i can hear his heart beat when i put my head on his chest, and i love that by the end abed’s always humming quietly along with the music.) i love to slow dance.</em></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">Pick a lyric to sum up this playlist: "Please give your loving heart to me / And say we'll never part", (I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons</p><p class="p2"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><b>[9] Playlist: </b>cheesy-overly-romantic songs that abed says he hates (but secretly likes)</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>I Wanna Dance With Somebody - Whitney Houston - Whitney</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>L-O-V-E - Nat King Cole - L-O-V-E</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>For Once In My Life - Stevie Wonder - For Once In My Life</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>All of Me - John Legend - Love in the Future</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Can’t Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley</em></p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>Description:</em> </span> <em> i play these songs SPECIFICALLY to annoy abed. he always complains about how their over-popularization ruined them, but every time i catch him mouthing the words along. it’s sweet. i caught him one time singing it quietly in the shower. his voice is so lovely. i'll never point it out, because i never want it to stop. he's been asking me to play more music lately. things have been really good.</em></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">Pick a lyric to sum up this playlist: "Darling so it goes / Some things were meant to be", Can't Help Falling In Love</p><p class="p2"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><b>[10] Playlist: </b>my dear, i love you endlessly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Sad Corny F**k - JP Saxe - Hold It Together</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>if we never met - John K - if we never met</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Please Keep Loving Me - James TW (Single)</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song:</em> </b> <em> Lucky - Chelsea Cutler - How To Be Human</em></p><p class="p1"><b> <em>Song: </em> </b> <em>Love Someone - Lukas Graham - 3 (The Purple Album)</em></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>Description:</em> </span> <em> abed, i know by now you've found all of these. i just want you to know that i have never loved someone more than i love you. you are the love and the light of my life, and i am so incredibly lucky to be a part of yours. i love you. and i know you’ll say “i know” after that because it’s kind of our thing. but i have one more question.</em></p><p class="p1">
  <em>will you marry me?</em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">Pick a lyric to sum up this playlist: "It all comes back to you, you, you", if we never met</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>time is a construct that doesn’t exist send tweet.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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